Who Knew?

Did you know that if your house is a mess, you can wake up in the morning and start cleaning up, and in about 3 hours your house will be clean?

Until today, neither did I.

My excuse when I was a SAHM was that “I’m spending TIME WITH MY CHILD” or, alternatively, “How am I supposed to clean with a toddler underfoot? Do you expect me to IGNORE MY PRESHUS BAAABBBEE just to scrub the baseboards?”. And now that I’m working, I’m all, ” I only see my preshus baaabbbee for 2 or 3 hours a day! You expect me to worry about making the bed???”

So, the house is (surface) clean, and the preshus baaabbbee is unneglected. Also the excuses=out the window. Shit. I really had a good thing going.

Changing the Subject, Clumsily at that

I am the RIAA’s worst nightmare. Since Napster came out, I can count on one hand how many CDs I have purchased for myself. And most of those were those compilation albums like NOW! 3457, that seem like a good idea until you realize that you only like 3 songs.

My mom wanted Pink’s new album, so I when I was looking for it, I found this album. I realized this morning without even opening it how lame 90% of the songs are.

Will I never learn????

Can of Worms=Open

I read some of the comments on my last post, and I think some of you got the wrong impression. I was joking. (Not about the begging for sex part. But if you knew me, you’d know that I pretty much ask my husband to come home and do me daily. LOL)

My husband isn’t neglecting me AT ALL. He was in the middle of something at work, and I was basically whining that I couldn’t wait to see him.

The point of the post was more about how I’ve sunk so low that I’m even mentioning a whisper of an innuendo of my sex life on the internets. Especially because I think that people related to me by both blood and marriage read this site. Possibly. I don’t really want to know.

For the record: The Highlander=Sex Machine (get on the scene!!)

A new low

I just called my husband and begged him to come home and “do” me. So it’s come to this. Not only am I having to ask for it (and even the promise of sexy time didn’t send him speeding home. I called him 2 hours ago!!) I’m also telling the internet. GOD.

Oh how the (not) mighty have fallen.

Here’s a Meme that I’ve just made up

So. I’ve had this link to The Definitive 200 Albums Everyone Must Have in my Google Reader starred items. So, same deal as the book meme. Bold the ones you own, italic the ones you want, and strikethrough the ones you’d rather use as a coaster.

Also, comment with any additions or deletions.

The following list – the Definitive 200 – was developed by NARM, the National Association of Recording Merchandisers in celebration of the art form of the record album. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is pleased to recognize this varied collection of some of history’s most influential and popular albums, many of which are Hall of Fame Inductees.

For more information on the Definitive 200, please visit www.definitive200.com.

1. BEATLES – SGT. PEPPER’S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND
2. PINK FLOYD – DARK SIDE OF THE MOON
3. MICHAEL JACKSON – THRILLER
4. LED ZEPPELIN – LED ZEPPELIN IV
5. U2 – JOSHUA TREE
6. ROLLING STONES – EXILE ON MAIN ST.
7. CAROLE KING – TAPESTRY
8. BOB DYLAN – HIGHWAY 61 REVISITED
9. BEACH BOYS – PET SOUNDS
10. NIRVANA – NEVERMIND
11. PEARL JAM – TEN
12. BEATLES – ABBEY ROAD
13. SANTANA – SUPERNATURAL
14. METALLICA – METALLICA
15. BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN – BORN TO RUN
16. PRINCE – PURPLE RAIN
17. AC/DC – BACK IN BLACK
18. ROLLING STONES – LET IT BLEED
19. DOORS – DOORS
20. GRATEFUL DEAD – AMERICAN BEAUTY
21. SHANIA TWAIN – COME ON OVER
22. WHO – WHO’S NEXT
23. STEVIE WONDER – SONGS IN THE KEY OF LIFE
24. FLEETWOOD MAC – RUMOURS
25. PINK FLOYD – THE WALL
26. ALANIS MORISSETTE – JAGGED LITTLE PILL
27. NORAH JONES – COME AWAY WITH ME
28. EMINEM – MARSHALL MATHERS LP
29. OUTKAST – SPEAKERBOXX-LOVE BELOW
30. DR. DRE – THE CHRONIC
31. BEASTIE BOYS – LICENSED TO ILL
32. GUNS ‘N ROSES –APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION
33. DIXIE CHICKS – WIDE OPEN SPACES
34. MILES DAVIS – KIND OF BLUE
35. EAGLES – HOTEL CALIFORNIA
36. DEF LEPPARD – HYSTERIA
37. SOUNDTRACK – GREASE
38. MARVIN GAYE – WHAT’S GOING ON
39. BEATLES – WHITE ALBUM
40. SOUNDTRACK – SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER
41. JIMI HENDRIX – ARE YOU EXPERIENCED?
42. BEATLES – REVOLVER
43. BOSTON – BOSTON
44. BON JOVI – SLIPPERY WHEN WET
45. U2 – ACHTUNG BABY
46. WHITNEY HOUSTON – WHITNEY HOUSTON
47. LED ZEPPELIN – LED ZEPPELIN II
48. DAVE MATTHEWS BAND – CRASH
49. ROLLING STONES – STICKY FINGERS
50. GREEN DAY – DOOKIE
51. LED ZEPPELIN – HOUSES OF THE HOLY
52. JONI MITCHELL – BLUE
53. ELVIS PRESLEY – ELVIS AT SUN
54. AEROSMITH – TOYS IN THE ATTIC
55. LAURYN HILL – MISEDUCATION OF LAURYN HILL
56. BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN – BORN IN THE U.S.A.
57. 50 CENT – GET RICH OR DIE TRYIN’
58. AC/DC – HIGHWAY TO HELL
59. NOTORIOUS B.I.G. – LIFE AFTER DEATH
60. VAN HALEN – VAN HALEN
61. GREEN DAY – AMERICAN IDIOT
62. BLACK SABBATH – PARANOID
63. EMINEM – EMINEM SHOW
64. JEWEL – PIECES OF YOU
65. COLDPLAY – RUSH OF BLOOD TO THE HEAD
66. MEATLOAF – BAT OUT OF HELL
67. USHER – CONFESSIONS
68. KID ROCK – DEVIL WITHOUT A CAUSE
69. GEORGE HARRISON – ALL THINGS MUST PASS
70. BILLY JOEL – THE STRANGER
71. EAGLES – HELL FREEZES OVER
72. VAN MORRISON – MOONDANCE
73. R.E.M. – AUTOMATIC FOR THE PEOPLE
74. PHIL COLLINS – NO JACKET REQUIRED
75. METALLICA – MASTER OF PUPPETS
76. FAITH HILL – BREATHE
77. JOHNNY CASH – AT FOLSOM PRISON
78. JOHN COLTRANE – LOVE SUPREME
79. PINK FLOYD – WISH YOU WERE HERE
80. MICHAEL JACKSON – OFF THE WALL
81. MARVIN GAYE – LET’S GET IT ON
82. BOB SEGER – NIGHT MOVES
83. PAUL SIMON – GRACELAND
84. LINKIN PARK – HYBRID THEORY
85. PRINCE – 1999
86. DEF LEPPARD – PYROMANIA
87. JANET JACKSON – CONTROL
88. RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS – BLOOD SUGAR SEX MAGIK
89. DIRE STRAITS – BROTHERS IN ARMS
90. TUPAC – ALL EYEZ ON ME
91. MATCHBOX TWENTY – YOURSELF OR SOMEONE LIKE YOU
92. RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS – CALIFORNICATION
93. LED ZEPPELIN – PHYSICAL GRAFFITI
94. NELLY – COUNTRY GRAMMAR
95. CREED – HUMAN CLAY SHAME!! SHAME!!
96. CLASH – LONDON CALLING
97. CELINE DION – FALLING INTO YOU
98. NEIL YOUNG – HARVEST
99. SOUNDTRACK – DIRTY DANCING
100. DIXIE CHICKS – HOME
101. TOM PETTY – FULL MOON FEVER
102. VAN HALEN – 1984
103. SOUNDTRACK – TITANIC
104. CROSBY STILLS & NASH – DÉJÀ VU
105. TLC – CRAZYSEXYCOOL
106. BECK – ODELAY
107. KENNY G – BREATHLESS
108. N.W.A. – STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON
109. SEX PISTOLS – NEVER MIND THE BOLLOCKS
110. BEATLES – RUBBER SOUL
111. RADIOHEAD – OK COMPUTER
112. SIMON & GARFUNKEL – BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER
113. DIXIE CHICKS – FLY
114. METALLICA – …AND JUSTICE FOR ALL
115. MICHAEL JACKSON – DANGEROUS
116. MARIAH CAREY – DAYDREAM
117. SOUNDTRACK – TOP GUN
118. ELTON JOHN – GOODBYE YELLOW BRICK ROAD
119. POLICE – SYNCHRONICITY
120. NO DOUBT – TRAGIC KINGDOM
121. ROLLING STONES – BEGGAR’S BANQUET
122. R KELLY – R
123. TOOL – LATERALUS
124. OASIS – (WHAT’S THE STORY) MORNING GLORY
125. BOB MARLEY – EXODUS
126. JOURNEY – ESCAPE
127. CHRISTINA AGUILERA – CHRISTINA AGUILERA
128. JAY-Z – THE BLUEPRINT
129. ALICIA KEYS – DIARY OF ALICIA KEYS
130. SOUNDTRACK – O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU?
131. CARS – CARS
132. ENYA – DAY WITHOUT RAIN
133. NATALIE COLE – UNFORGETTABLE WITH LOVE NATALIE COLE
134. SOUNDTRACK – FOOTLOOSE
135. LIONEL RICHIE – CAN’T SLOW DOWN
136. SARAH MCLACHLAN – SURFACING
137. BONNIE RAITT – NICK OF TIME
138. METALLICA – RIDE THE LIGHTNING
139. SHERYL CROW – TUESDAY NIGHT MUSIC CLUB
140. FRANK SINATRA – IN THE WEE SMALL HOURS
141. EARTH WIND FIRE – GRATITUDE
142. ZZ TOP – ELIMINATOR
143. WILLIE NELSON – RED HEADED STRANGER
144. JOHN LENNON – IMAGINE
145. TONI BRAXTON – TONI BRAXTON
146. ETTA JAMES – AT LAST
147. ELVIS PRESLEY – ELVIS PRESLEY
148. CAT STEVENS – TEA FOR THE TILLERMAN
149. SMASHING PUMPKINS – MELLON COLLIE & THE INFINITE SADNESS
150. DAVE BRUBECK – TIME OUT
151. JANET JACKSON – JANET
152. QUEEN – A NIGHT AT THE OPERA
153. OZZY OSBOURNE – BLIZZARD OF OZZ
154. WILL SMITH – BIG WILLIE STYLE
155. PRINCE – SIGN ‘O’ THE TIMES
156. PUBLIC ENEMY – IT TAKES A NATION OF MILLIONS TO HOLD US BACK
157. BOB DYLAN – BLOOD ON THE TRACKS
158. GEORGE MICHAEL – FAITH
159. BOYZ II MEN – COOLEYHIGHHARMONY
160. DESTINY’S CHILD – WRITING’S ON THE WALL
161. JAY-Z – BLACK ALBUM
162. AVRIL LAVIGNE – LET GO
163. FUGEES – THE SCORE
164. MADONNA – LIKE A VIRGIN
165. LED ZEPPELIN – LED ZEPPELIN
166. STEVIE RAY VAUGHN – TEXAS FLOOD
167. STONE TEMPLE PILOTS – CORE
168. ORIGINAL CAST – PHANTOM OF THE OPERA HIGHLIGHTS
169. JETHRO TULL – AQUALUNG
170. TUPAC – ME AGAINST THE WORLD
171. DAVID BOWIE – RISE AND FALL OF ZIGGY STARDUST
172. SHAKIRA – LAUNDRY SERVICE
173. SOUNDTRACK – FORREST GUMP
174. AL GREEN – CALL ME
175. CURTIS MAYFIELD – SUPERFLY
176. LIVE – THROWING COPPER
177. GEORGE BENSON – BREEZIN’
178. WHITE STRIPES – WHITE BLOOD CELLS
179. LYNYRD SKYNYRD – PRONOUNCED LEH-NERD SKIN-ERD
180. SADE – DIAMOND LIFE
181. FLEETWOOD MAC – FLEETWOOD MAC
182. PAUL MCCARTNEY & WINGS – BAND ON THE RUN
183. BEYONCE – DANGEROUSLY IN LOVE
184. ANITA BAKER – RAPTURE
185. NAS – IIIMATIC
186. BARBRA STREISAND – A STAR IS BORN
187. EARTH WIND FIRE – THAT’S THE WAY OF THE WORLD
188. ANITA BAKER – RHYTHM OF LOVE
189. JAY-Z – IN MY LIFETIME VOL 1
190. LL COOL J – MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT
191. STEELY DAN – AJA
192. WILLIE NELSON – STARDUST
193. ARETHA FRANKLIN – SPARKLE
194. ANDREA BOCELLI – ANDREA
195. BOB DYLAN – BRINGING IT ALL BACK HOME
196. LUTHER VANDROSS – NEVER TOO MUCH
197. U2 – ALL THAT YOU CAN’T LEAVE BEHIND
198. RUSH – 2112
199. OUTKAST – AQUEMINI
200. GRAND FUNK RAILROAD – WE’RE AN AMERICAN BAND

Blatant Plagarism

Since none of our 14 cameras had any juice on Saturday morning before I left to go to Melissa’s, I have shamelessly lifted 2 pics of our trip to the zoo from her blog. Mostly because my hair looks pretty damn good. Kinda wish I’d brushed it though.

Here we are checking out the Cougars. Ducky told me that they were kitty cats that say ROAR.

And here’s Kevin and Ducky feeding the “sheepies”. She refused to feed them from her palm, because, “They lick, mommy”, so she got very bossy with them and fed them one pellet at a time, no pushing. That’s right Ducky. Don’t take any shit from sheep.

We had a great time. The zoo was much more zoo like than the one in my local park. I think they just fenced in whatever animals wandered in to the area. LOL

And the biggest hit was the “Farm” section. Kids don’t care about Wallabys. They want to see some moo-cows!

It was fun for me too, I got to walk with Ducky and Kevin, and he was good about holding my hand, and when we were waiting for the choo-choo, I got to hold Olivia, and I think Duck got a little jealous, so I got to hold them both! Later after we got off the train, Melissa went to get the stroller and I took the girls to the sidewalk, just to get out of the stroller gridlock, and the three of us admired a peacock that was just waddling around.

Spending the day with those cuties made me want more children B-A-D. I even called The Highlander on the ride home and cried about it. I don’t need another baby because I’M a baby!! I am trying so hard to be patient. I really really really really am. Believe me? Nah. Me neither.

I really should go perform my wifely duties now. (Get your mind out of the gutter!! I have to wash the dishes and take out the garbage )

Adios muchacos!

Is this thing on?

Wow. A whole lot of nothin’ going on here. Just 10 days ago I had 107 WHOLE visitors (it’s a lot for me. shutup.) and today (GMT, no less). ONE. Who are you? Please identify yourself. I will award you a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils.

The Highlander got paid today!!! After 4 months of unemployment, it’s so nice to see an actual paycheck, not an unemployment check. Also we’re both paid weekly, which is so old skool. So, every Friday, snugly deposited in our account will be the same amount he was bringing home BIWEEKLY from his old job. AWESOME. Man, I hope no one asks me for a loan. Although considering that only ONE person viewed my blog today, I’d say the chances are slim. Unless that person is a freaky internet cafe surfing broke ass person. In which case, just wait 10 minutes and $20 will come flying out of the printer. Honest. Go look.

Must go, lunchtime!!

I don’t care about the sunshine, yeah..

…cuz mama, mama, I”M COMING HOME.

Actually I do care about the sunshine. And we’ve been home for about an hour and a half.

Even though we had to pay for tonight, we didn’t care, and just chanced it and came home. We were so over that place it wasn’t even funny. There was no damage to our place at all. Most of the damage was at the back of the complex, near the river. Our building is right next to the road. When we left the waters had lapped to nearly 100 feet from our building. (We are approximately 1/4 th  mile from the river bank)

Remind me to tell you later why we will not be taking Ducky on ANY trip that requires a hotel stay, like EVER again.

We know how lucky we were and just how much worse it could have been. I had a chance to pack. We had the financial means to be able to decide to stay in a hotel instead of sleeping on a cot at the Red Cross shelter. And we were gone less than 24 hours. The longest day of our lives, to be sure, but still really happy it’s over.

Thanks for the kind comments and emails. I love the internets.

Blogging from the Junior Suite

I just called the police. We’re staying at the hotel another night. I’m glad we’re safe, but damn. This sucks.

And there’s no hot water until 3pm. But they did give us the refugee rate last night.

We’re heading to Target to get this child some goddamned crayons or something. And while I grabbed our wedding album and baby book, I neglected to grab our bathing suits. So I’ll be picking those up too.

Holy Fuck

As I’ve said before, we live “Down By The River”. Although it was a Chris Farley joke, I was also being quite literal. The flood waters are 300 feet from our apartment. We are being evacuated.

I am so fucking freaked right now. We are 95% packed, we just have to figure out where the fuck we are going. I hope we get a hotel room, and they don’t force us to go to the library. I am NOT sleeping on a cot in the library.

Hopefully, we’ll be home tomorrow.Keep us in your thoughts, and if you pray, your prayers. I’m sure we’ll be fine, BUT, still freaked out. Majorly.