Retirement Party

First, the news.

Ducky pooped in the potty yesterday. For real. i had to tell her to do it, because I knew she was about to, and she was a little grossed out by it at first, but once I got her cleaned up, she was all about the “special tweet”. Which was Daddy’s Milano cookies. She’s doing really well at this and we’re so proud of her. Yesterday when I picked her up she was wearing the same clothes AND underwear I dropped her off in. Awesome.

NOW. The announcement. This is going to be the last potty post. I’m sure I’ll refer to it obliquely sometimes, but I want to protect my daughter’s privacy. She’s not a baby anymore (sniff). I’m not going to take down what I already posted, because I was trying to keep it from *my* perspective.

It’s a damn shame, really. This was such effortless material. LOL! Oh well, I guess going forward I’ll have to revisit my sex life or something!!

Um, NO.

Who needs pro*zac?

I don’t need no SSRIs! All I need to elevate my mood is consumerism and incremental potty success.

First, I found out from Ducky’s teacher that she had only ONE accident today. Then, we met The Highlander at a place that rhymes with Dircuit Dity, and bought an awesome 40″ LCD. It comes Saturday!!!

I almost didn’t go, I was worried about her staying dry. BUT, she PEED ON THE POTTY! In a public bathroom! So proud of that kid!!!

Last, but certainly not least, The Highlander picked up my Mother’s Day present. (Also at Fircuit Fity) We were all crazy busy back in May, and our money was, how you say, allocated elsewhere. SO, I got my very first iPod! Wow!

We also picked up a total accountant geek piece of equipment. A USB number pad for my laptop. Awesome. You would have thought that after spending a nauseatingly large amount of money, they could have at least comped our sodas. That’s why I’m calling it Wircuit Wity. You guys get no google hits from me!!!

When we got home, as a potty encore, Ducky pooped on the potty.

All in all, a fairly great day.

Kids say the darndest things

“Mommy trew my diapers in da GAR-BAGE”

“Hello unnerwear! Bye-bye, GAR-BAGE diaper!!”

Hey at least she’s listening!

I just called daycare. So far, 1 and 1. She made it once, and had one accident. Also, she was dry for the whole commute.

My baby is soooo not a baby anymore.

Sniff.

Shhh

Don’t say anything to jinx this. The potty god/goddess can smell optimism and loves to crush it. SHHHH.

BUT:

She woke up at 1:30am, and even though she wears pull ups for night time, she asked to go pee pee. We pulled her little potty into her room, and sat her on it. It took a few tries, and I had to hug her the whole time, but she sure peed! (The Highlander had done the same procedure with her Saturday night)

This morning, she made it all the way in front of the toilet and proceeded to piss on the floor. Close, but no cigar, kid. I figured out that she might not like the “big potty” (aka real toilet with potty seat in it), because when she made it in there dry, as soon as I got her on it, she told me she was done. She did this at least 8 or 9 times this morning.

So potty chair it is. I moved it to the living room. If you’d asked about that 2 years ago, I would have given you a smug lecture about how GROSS that is, and how children NEED TO LEARN that we do our business in the BATHROOM. Oh yeah, 2005 Michele? Fuck You Lady, because my kid just peed in the living room potty.

BOO-YA!

The weekend, summed up in a picture.

UNGH

This is HARD.

Can’t coherent sentences

I have hand washed 23 pairs of teeny tiny panties. Did I mention the no washer and dryer thing? Did I mention that I tried to MICROWAVE them dry when the hair dryer was taking too long? The Highlander schooled me in the art of “bachelor cooking” your clothes. I didn’t have the balls to try the oven, so I took them to the laundromat.

I must have no sense of adventure.

It’s the end of the world as we know it

Tomorrow, the diapers go in the garbage. I know, I’ve said it before. But seriously, if you don’t hear from me by Sunday night, call the cops. Or send alcohol.

Snivelly Complaint #257658

I have a headache. I want to go home. Work is boring.

I blog from Flickr, for I am lazy

The Highlander (with a special cameo by Ducky) posing in his parking space. Awesome.

And I was wrong. Evidently there is a bonus, but we’re still waiting for it.

Congratulations sweetie!

Turn, Turn, Turn

Today makes one year that Ducky Duck is in daycare. I’m a little sad, and I’m a also a little, what’s the big deal? about it.

Here is the letter I wrote to her this time last year. I had posted it on my MySpace blog with the title “SAHM Resignation Letter”:

Friday, June 16, 2006

Last Day Current mood: sad   Today is the last workday that I am a Stay at Home Mom. I’m so conflicted. I am soooo excited about going back to work, and making a financial contribution to the household, but GOD DAMN, I don’t want to bring Ducky to daycare. This is breaking my heart a little. I signed her up about 10 days ago, and I’ve slowly been buying the stuff she needs, diapers, wipes, rash cream, an unholy amount of sippy cups, a lunch box, a sleeping bag, and 5000 assorted “school lunch” type foods. And then began the dreaded writing of the first and last names on EVERYTHING with a black sharpie. I wonder if they’ll make me write it ON her. Doing that is what made me lose it. I sat down in the corner of my dining room/office where I’ve been keeping all this crap and had myself a good cry last night after Ducky was in bed and The Highlander was at work. I feel like I’ve squandered the time I did have with her. Here’s what I want my daughter to know. Dear Ducky-Duck, I sorry I didn’t bring you to the park more. I only took you to the zoo twice. I’m sorry I didn’t read to you instead of letting you watch TV. I’m sorry for every morning that I overslept, and you had to wait in your crib. I’m sorry for getting frustrated with your tantrums, or just when you want to play and I have groceries to get inside. I’m sorry I ever referred to you as “a ball and chain” or my “Siamese twin”. Yes it felt that way, but I’d give ANYTHING to have that back and still be able to earn a paycheck. Your Daddy and I want to teach you that money isn’t everything, but ultimately, I feel that my working will help as all have a better life. Just know that no matter how much complaining I did about how hard it was to take care of you, I will always treasure these two precious years we’ve had together. And we’re going to have lots more special times for the rest of your life. I promise. I’m sorry for lots of things, my darling daughter. I wish things could be perfect for you, but Daddy and I can only do our best. I hope you love daycare and don’t even miss me. Just do your old Mama a favor, and be happy to see me when I come pick you up. Love Always, Mama 1:44 PM – 2 Comments – 4 Kudos – Add Comment – Edit – Remove