Wha??

Although I did like this book OK, and I love the author…umm…what?

p>

You’re Love in the Time of Cholera!

by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Like Odysseus in a work of Homer, you demonstrate undying loyalty by
sleeping with as many people as you possibly can. But in your heart you never give
consent! This creates a strange quandary of what love really means to you. On the
one hand, you’ve loved the same person your whole life, but on the other, your actions
barely speak to this fact. Whatever you do, stick to bottled water. The other stuff
could get you killed.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

It’s that time of year again

Blogher.

For the third year now, I’ve been reading about how great, awesome and so much fun it is on 90% of the blogs I read, and all over flickr. I always find myself wishing I’d gone.

Sigh. Maybe next year.

Because I know you were worried

After seeing the picture of my yesterday, I needed to take immediate action. I went right out and got my eyebrows waxed. Ducky even sat/layed on me while it was going on. The lady “did” Ducky’s eyebrows too (cotton ball and baby oil). She asked my why the lady was putting stickers on my face. LOL. She did so well, I’m bringing her to my Brazilian next week.

PS- Either I need to get better at Photoshop, or I need a chemical peel and 6 lbs of pancake makeup, STAT!

Picture Time

Because I’m DYING to talk about something, that is not fit for the internets. So here’s some pictures. Or something.
The Highlander left his pants on the dining chair, and when she came home, she put them on, and walked around saying “Hi! I’m Daddy!”

Small Victories

I got the Duck to eat something new(ish) for dinner tonight. I picked up food at “the chicken store”, that’s Boston Market to those of us who are not my daughter. Like I always do, I got a side of Macaroni and Cheese (since when did those become proper nouns? whatevs.), not really expecting her to eat it.

She asked for  “rack-a-cheese” a few minutes ago, so I gave her the chicken store variety instead of good ‘ol Kraft.  Do you know what that little shitter did? She threw it out!! In the wastepaper basket! (food in wastepaper basket=skeeves me out)

So I settled in with my plate, and she kept asking for it, and insisted she would eat it if I brought more. Then she cried again. So, I turned off Dragon Tales, and put on a Big Love. She did NOT want to watch a “mommy and daddy show”. So I told her if she ate ONE NOODLE she could watch Curious George.

She did it!! And she liked it!! She asked for more!!!

Oh shit, what have I done? What if she won’t eat Kraft anymore? LOL

D-O-N-E

It’s all over. There will never be anymore Harry Potter books. But I enjoyed this book alot. She really surprised me.

I waited and waited and waited for it to come yesterday. Guess when it came???

5 fucking minutes after I left to bring Ducky to her friend’s birthday party!! To make matters worse, The Highlander skipped to the end and taunted me with the knowledge. For once, I resisted.

I got a chance to have 5 uninterrupted hours of reading time today, though they came at a price. We took The Highlander’s Jeep in friday night to have a few things fixed, and on the way home we discovered that in fixing the break light, they broke the tail light! Duh! As I was bringing it back this morning, JUST as I turned into their parking lot I lost my power steering.

They tried to make me come back tomorrow, and they were not even apologetic about FUCKING UP, but I said I’d wait. They were not expecting that. I read 450 Pages while I was waiting. It turns out they didn’t tighten a bolt on the new water pump, and that broke the serpentine belt. And, oops they put in the wrong bulb. So that’s 3 out of 4 things he had done there. Let’s hope they used 6 quarts of motor oil. Just waiting to find out that it’s olive oil or something!

Once I got home, The Highlander kept bugging me to finish because he was dying to talk about the part he read. I finished around 9pm.

If you want to talk about the book, please email, rather than posting comments. I’m usually a spoiler whore, but I wouldn’t want to ruin it for anyone.

And a quick Ducky story:

I bought her these twin baby dolls, and she’s been walking around feeding them their bottles. The way she looks at them is so maternal. And The Highlander showed her how to hold a baby, so it really looks like she’s feeding a baby.

SIGH. Babies having babies

“I see”, said the blind man to his deaf piano teacher

Around 7 this morning, I got my period and it became PLAINLY clear just what the fuck was wrong with me yesterday.

Can we say P-M-S?

I’m sure I’ve had it, but this is the first time in my life I’ve really noticed it. Them hormones are some crazy-makers, I’ll tell you.

Also, it seems my daughter has it too! LOL. Indulge me for a wee bit of backstory. At the beginning of July Ducky transitioned from the classroom she’s been in since September (when she started at this location)  to a class for older kids. She’s been really excited about being a “Mongoose” instead of a “Snake”. Until Wednesday. According to her teacher, she was crying over nothing all day. For the last 2 days, she’s been trying to go into the “Snake” room when I drop her off. So obviously, she was crying her little head off on Thursday morning (aka Michele’s irrational crying day) and that is when the teacher told me that she had been upset Wednesday, and I joked that she must have had PMS. They laughed. They laughed harder when I said it stood for Pretty Mommy Syndrome.

I’m laughing because first day of my life that I experience PMS symptoms is the day I make a joke about a pre-schooler’s moods.

Also, could somebody please kill me? I have to take Duck to another fucking birthday party tomorrow. Gosh I hate hanging out with school parents. It’s the same snobby people AT EVERY PARTY.

Oh, joy.

That’s what friends are for

I had a horrible day today. And nothing out of the ordinary happened, I was just a tired cranky, emotional mess today. I still have no clue what went south today.

I called Melissa and we talked for a while, and it was just what I needed. So thanks for listening to me.

And you too, hubby. Even though you always listen, I can still say thank you.

Nauseated

I just finished watching To Catch a Predator

I want to throw up. Now I know why I haven’t watched these before. It was hard enough to watch, without thinking of my daughter. That made it unbearable.  I had to keep pushing her out of my mind.

And these guys. What they were planning to do was disgusting, but face to face they were the most pathetic “predators” I’ve ever seen. One guy actually cried for his mommy. Another had a 7 year old daughter, and yet was meeting a girl he thought was 13.

Gross.

Here is a link to their online safety kit. I know most of you have kids, or want them. If not, then you could help a niece, nephew, cousin, neighbor or friend. Take a look.

Miss Jackson, if you’re nasty

Yesterday, we were all hanging around watching TV. Did you know that there is actually a “Monster” channel? And it is HD to boot? Neither did we, until we got involved in a Godzilla marathon. In the midst of it, Ducky woke up from her nap, and for most of it was too scared to watch, but too curious not to.

And the gem, the absolute GEM of the day was that she kept saying

“What Miss Zillo doin’??”

So glad I had her. Otherwise I never would have known that Godzilla’s full name is Miss God Zillo.

And neither would you.