A peek into the depths of our depravity

The Highlander and I were talking about family trees and extended family stuff last night. Eventually, I admitted that I’d always thought one of my second cousins* was hot.

The Highlander’s Response:

“You’ve met some of my third cousins. There are a BUNCH of them I would have had flipper babies with”

My Response:

“I’m so blogging this”

*he is the son of my grandfather’s much younger brother. technically my father’s first cousin, but much closer in age to me. 

Feels like Friday

I can not WAIT to get out of here today. I actually have a 4 day weekend with NO PLANS to look forward to. Sometimes I get a little blue sitting around on my ass ALL THE TIME being that my husband and I are practically hermits, but I just hate the stress of having plans sometimes. I hate being someplace at any certain time on the weekend. I also hate crowds, so the beach is so totally fucking out this weekend. Like totally. Although, maybe I’ll surprise my mother and drive up to CT on Saturday morning. Cuz I’m tricky like that.

What I really really want to do is go to Atlantic City for some unknown reason. They have a beach there, and gambling, and ice cream sundae bars next to pie bars. Another reason to love A.C. is that I can still smoke indoors there. Which makes it all the more confusing to me when I see people with fucking babies on the casino floor, and I have to feel bad about smoking. You know, I smoke, but not in the house and not in the car when Ducky is in it. I also don’t take her to smoky places like that. Sigh. I don’t understand.

But anyway, lack of babysittage and the fact that it’s like $500 a night because of the holiday means no AC for me this weekend! And maybe, if I’m lucky, I will get that CD burned for Little Debbie and that cross-stitch finished for Miss Sabrina the daughter of my Bizzaro Twin Michelle, that I promised, I don’t know FOUR MONTHS AGO. Maybe.

Hope you all have a great holiday weekend!!

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I am getting KILLED with work! What the fuck! It’s is the week before labor day which in any other place in the world (unless I were a lifeguard) would mean that things were S-L-O-W.

This is as bad as tax season. Work just seems to grow legs and crawl into my office. Got a new client? Give it to Michele? Got a pain in the ass job that the other two won’t do? Give it to Michele! I could go on and on.

I hate it here. Here being the tiny little igloo shape I’ve created in this avalanche of work.

Sometimes I wonder

I’ve been lucky since starting this blog. I’ve never had one piece of hatemail. I’ve never had to delete a comment.(I realize that I’ve just jinxed myself.) Which surprises the hell out of me. Just because I’ve only been blogging a year and a half or so, I’m no noob. I’ve experienced all kinds of hateful mail, personal attacks, and even a woman who took pictures of my baby and me and posted them on an infertility message board as her own.

But you kids. There is nothing I can say here that you won’t back me up on. In the wee small hours, I sit and ponder how evil I would have to be to start getting judgmental hatemail and assvice-y comments.

I kid, I kid. I like it this way, and I love that my readers are not assholes. It warms the cockles of my heart, really.

Moving on, is anyone else watching Weeds? Doesn’t Nancy know that U-Turn will never let her pay off her “debt”? The only way out is for her to kill him. Doesn’t she know that? And no moralizing talky-speak. She is a drug dealer. She must do what has to be done. I don’t kill people, but I am not a drug dealer, either. You’ve got to commit to your career choice you know?

Also Big Love. OMG how can it be over already? Also, things only seem calm. And Bill is arrogant and stupid enough to think this is not all going to come crashing down around his head. What a yutz!

Finally, Britney Spears. Do we really think that she’s giving her children alcohol? Now I know that she doesn’t have the most stellar track record, but really. It’s like we’ll believe anything about her because we think she’s some stupid hillbilly. Now I’m not a hillbilly, so I don’t speak from experience, but I’d bet my coach bag that even hillbillies know that the moonshine is not for babies. And I think Britney does too.

But I have been wrong before.

Attitude Face

New Decade, same old color!, originally uploaded by Type (little) a.

I colored my hair again. It’s a little yellow at the roots, but the 9 inch roots are gone!

I had a good birthday. We had McDonald’s breakfast, I had a nap (!!!), and then The Highlander drove 25 miles to bring home PF Chang’s. My thirties might just be OK.

It’s Filler Day!

August 25th is always a blah day. It’s the day after my dad’s birthday (not that we celebrate it anymore.. ) and the day before mine. So in honor of filler day, here’s some random pics from my camera phone:

Last night, after I got back from the city, The Highlander picked me up at the train stations, and then we went to pick up Ducky . We’d actually planned all along for him to pick her up, because for the last week, she’s been telling her teachers that her daddy was coming to pick her up. Needless to say, she was quite annoyed when it was “only” mommy.

She was so happy to see him, that she actually stammered. “Daddy!! D-D-D-Daddy! Miss Dacie dats my daddy! Look, look, it’s my daddy!”

After that, we took her to Toys R Us, because I promised her a toy helicopter if she made it all week without any accidents. She made it!!! She picked a Dinoco helicopter (from Disney’s Cars) with a talking Mater that pops out. It’s slightly different from the Mater toy she already has, so she calls the old one the “mommy” mater. Too cute.

I was so stressed all day, and I pretty much spent my day rushing from one place to the next, that I kind of forgot to eat. By the time we got to Toys R Us around 6, I was so hungry that I wolfed down a King size Twix. I really need to do that more often. ‘Twas delicious.

After that we went to Pretentious Bread. Now I really want to like Pretentious Bread, I really do. Your food is moderately yummy, and my kid likes the PB&J served with Yogurt in a tube. And you have free wifi. But really, you are just to snooty for your own good. Your staff is ignorant and stuck up. Not to mention lazy. Also, $30 for 3 sandwiches and 2 bowls of soup? And you suggested I breastfeed in the bathroom. I could go on and on. But just like in the Colbert Report, Pretentious Bread, you’re on notice!!!

So that’s all folks. And thanks for your concern about my mom. They don’t actually know what happened. They kind of just turned her loose. She has a doctor’s appointment on Monday, so maybe we’ll know more then. I told her I wanted her to take it easy this weekend, so obviously, we cancelled my birthday party. I don’t care, really. I think The Highlander is rescheduling. It’s cool though, it’s not a surprise, but I don’t want to be picking linen colors, you know? Then I would feel like I was throwing my own party. I hate that.

So have a good weekend. It’s date night, after all! Have a Bellini for me, because next time I talk to you, I’ll be 30!

In a New York Minute

ooh ooh ooh, everything can change……

About 40 minutes after I posted about my dad (I added a picture), I got a phone call from my “Othermother” (my mom’s best friend, who also works at the same company, but at a different location). Without going into too much detail, my mom collapsed this morning shortly after getting to work, and they took her to the hospital. I freaked. My father’s birthday, of all days, to have a health scare with my mom. She is NOT supposed to be the sick one.

Anyway, I left my office around 10:45, and by noon I was on a NJ Transit train. One of her co-workers went with her ans stayed until my Othermother could get there. The whole time I was on the train, I kept thinking about how I was just moaning that I hadn’t been to Manhattan in soooo long and how much I missed it. And now I get to go. Be careful what you moan about.

I got to the ER around 1:30 and my mom was doing a lot better and actually seemed fine. Literally 5 minutes after I got there, all her test results had come back, and they released her. Her company sent a car service to bring her back to CT, which was a huge relief. Otherwise she would have had to come home on the train with me, and I’d have had to drive her home later tonight. We put her in the car, and I waited with Othermother for her car back to her office, and she gave me a ride back to Penn Station.

So I was in the city again today. I arrived at 12:59pm and took the 3:08pm train home. It was an emotionally draining day. She is probably going to be fine, I just wasn’t ready to face my mother’s mortality, especially on such a sad day.

August 24, 1949

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Today was my father’s birthday. The last time he celebrated a birthday was 5 years ago, and he was in the hospital with pneumonia:-( If he had lived, he would have been 58 today.

My birthday is Sunday. Since he died, I just can’t get into my birthday as much, because we always used to celebrate together.

I miss you Daddy. Every day, even after all this time.

The polls are open!!

Here’s Ducky wondering how in the hell she’s supposed to take care of three babies AND watch Dragon Tales

So I ask you, who does ducky look like?

Me:

or

The Highlander:

Just remember, this is my blog, and if you say the wrong thing, you will anger me.

kidding. or not.

A dib disappointment

I went grocery shopping after work yesterday. I bought so much junk food, it’s not even funny. I did actually buy food that I actually cooked, but it was only enough for yesterday. And I used a Pioneer Woman recipe, and while delicious, it would make a dietitian have a stroke on the spot.

I didn’t go shopping with the intention of being a poster child for everything that is wrong with America, it started with the candy aisle. I smugly avoided the cookie aisle, because I am far superior to everyone. And I have 3 or 4 different kinds of cookies at home already. As I rounded the corner past health and beauty aids, I came face to face with the Entemann’s display. There was Banana Crunch Cake. There was me saying “UNCLE!”

By now, I’ve just said “fuck it”, cause I still wanted ice cream.  Amongst other things, and because I am a sucker for a good marketing campaign, I decided to try Dibs. Maybe it’s because I got the chocolate on chocolate, but they were too sweet. Not that I let that get in the way of eating them all.

The Highlander just laughed when I told him of my haul, and brightened when I told him I bought Cookie Crisp.

I’ve officially rationalized that I might as well enjoy this crap while I can, because I’m on a mission to lose weight, but I’m not starting until after my birthday.

Anyone want to come over and eat marshmallows and oreos with me? I’m totally going to get a stomachache if I eat all this by myself by Sunday.