I really should know better, but I just don’t care

What is UP with my co-worker? Not only does she have the GODDAMN front door open (we work in a storefront, and my office is the closest it the door) while it is 36 degrees (that’s Fahrenheit, although a case could be made for keeping it close if I were talking Celsius too) but even the delightfuly BRISK draft is doing nothing to combat the poison cloud of cloyingly sweet perfume she is wearing today. I swear she must fill her bathtub with it and splash around in it. There is NO WAY any human with a NOSE could get that much perfume on otherwise.

The thing that is the funniest about this person? She is totally the “smell police”. God forbid you eat anything but white bread for lunch. She sprays half a fucking can of air freshener everytime she uses the bathroom. She brought in a candle on Friday, because “I just can’t stand the smell in here”. I guess all that Haterade she’s sipping on is amplifying her sense of smell.

Seriously guys, have pity on me. Send a gas mask.

Devil or Angel?

This year:

Last Year

You be the judge.

Also, back in my day (har har) we celebrated Halloween ON HALLOWEEN. And that WAS IT! And if it rained? WE GOT WET. How many Halloween parties are these kids going to nowadays? This was her school parade, which was postponed from Friday because of the rain. And now she thinks she’s dressing up as a cat tommorrow, and the next day, she wants to be a wermaid, and the day after, a witch. I told her she could dress up as a little girl. HA! Why not? I dress as an accountant every day.

Sorry guys…video goes poof….

You are going to be soooo sick of me

In case you haven’t noticed my sidebar, I am participating in NaBloPoMo

Who’s coming with me?

Feel Good Friday

If lovin’ Journey is wrong, I don’t want to be right. Watch this video and I DARE you to be in a bad mood. They even broke this cynical New Yorker But feel free to make fun of his jeans.

Caller ID

We hardly ever use our home phone, like ever. Even my grandmother knows to call one of our cell phones. I guess it started when Ducky was an infant, and we discovered that the home phone woke her while the cell phones did not. So I think we got a little fanatical about having that phone not ring. I still JUMP when it rings, mostly because it hardly does anymore. It’s mostly telemarketers that call. Sometimes it’s a doctor’s office, or something, because I still give out the number for some unknown reason. Habit, I guess. Every night when I get home from work, there are at least 8 calls on the caller ID from various places that are not anyone I want to talk to.

Yesterday, I was home during the day, and sure enough, the bane of my caller ID existance, “800 Service” called 4 times. Twice it was for Albert Sanchez, and I had a very hard time convincing the lady on the phone there are no Alberts here. I think I even pinky-swore. The other 2 times were Bank of America. Once for credit protection on the credit card in MY name, and 20 minutes later they were calling for the card in The Highlander’s name. Same guy, too. Fortunately, I was “allowed” to decline for myself, but they insisted they would have to call back to speak to “the man of the house” personally. I told him he had a better chance of reaching Albert Sanchez.

My husband is not normal

The Highlander is not in love with chocolate like I am. I admit, that I am a huge chocolate covered pig. But him? He’s just not right. I bought him a box of truffles as part of either his birthday or Father’s Day presents. (Both occasions are in June, so forgive me), which was stupid, I know, what can I say? I had a brain fart.

ANY-way, I was cleaning up just now, and I discovered that FOUR MONTHS LATER there are still chocolates in the box. Even I won’t touch truffles that old.

Oh Look at the kitty!

She stands just like me.

Am I too old to have a tantrum?

The fucking car. It is in purgatory. Every time I call I get a different answer, and this is really getting old. Am I getting a check that I get to wait SIX WEEKS for? Will they spend at least THREE WEEKS replacing the engine?  Either way, this is going to cost me my entire Christmas budget. That’s if I’m lucky. It could be much much more. I’m tired of other people spending my money for me. I feel like everything I have to do ends up an order of magnitude more complicated than it has to be. Will this never end?

Why?

Why does my daughter hate baths now? I think we need to re-nickname her “Kitty”, because Ducks? They LIKE water. The new house rule that is going to suck for me, because I love a long hot shower ALL TO MYSELF, but I will go along with it for the sake of “discipline” and “consistency” (whatever) is that any night she chooses not to take a bath before bed, she has to shower with me the next morning. And showers? She hates with such an intensity that I cannot think of a clever metaphor right now. My latest tactic is to grab her when she’s drowsy and jump in the shower with her. But I cannot put her down. She likes to play possum. So, I have to be naked when I go get her, and she is catching wise. Maybe I should try fooling her with body paint?

It looks like I will be administering Silkwood showers for the near future. This sucks, it ruins my shower and really fucks up my whole morning! Fortunately, she usually forgives me by the time we’re brushing our teeth.

Blogrollin’

I’ve wanted to update my blogroll for a long time, but I’ve been under the attack of the lazy. I’ve decided that even though I read and enjoy “big” bloggers like Dooce and Amalah, they really don’t need or care about my linkage. Instead, I want to link to regular people who I read and who read me. Besides, my blogroll is absolutely nowhere near what is in my Google Reader. So if you want on, let me know, and if you have some suggestions, those would be great too.

We have a busy Saturday up ahead. Laundry (drop off only, thank god) Groceries, a kid’s birthday party, and dinner at our friend’s house. And Ducky knows the entire itinerary and there will be hell to pay if I deviate from it! This seems like a lot to do in a day (for me anyway) but my lovely husband hung out with the duck and let me sleep until 11!!!

I can’t think of a better start to the weekend. I guess I have been more sleep deprived than I even knew. I actually feel HUMAN again.

Have a great weekend with your running cars that you own/lease!!!