When Ducky was born, both The Highlander and I decided that we wouldn’t push certain gender stereotypes on her. Our position was that until she was old enough to state a preference then we wouldn’t teach her to like things like Barbie or Princesses over toy cars or other “boy” things. Obviously, we all have innate biases, and OF COURSE she wore pink, but not exclusively.
Our first “mandate” which believe you me was NOT popular with family members was to not dress her up like a doll all the time. I dressed her in cute, modern clothes, and not frills, ribbons and bows just because I could. Besides, we didn’t have to buy any of that stuff, because our family seemed to think she was deprived or something, and bought her the frilliest, giriliest stuff. I guess I was supposed to dress her in a crinolined dress to take her to Stop & Shop when she was 6 months old. My mother still shows up at out house with hair doodads and one of the first things she does is put 17 barrettes in Ducky’s hair. LOL
The second thing was the goddamn Barbies and the goddamn D i s n e y Princesses. I have a big problem with Princesses myself. I don’t want to teach my daughter that the most she should aspire to is to obtain a husband. Just watch The Little Mermaid and see what I mean. She gave up EVERYTHING, even a fundamental part of who she is, just to be with a man. Also a Princess is a protected daughter under the control of her father with no real responsibility or even a life of her own, really. And if you don’t believe that, just watch Aladdin. And The Highlander and I never called her Princess. To be fair, my Dad did call my sister and me “Princess” sometimes and that alone is not why we are fucked up (I guess I shouldn’t speak for Joey, she may be perfectly well-adjusted, LOL). As a matter of fact, my sister always said she wanted to be the Queen, because she was the boss of the Princess, and I trumped that by saying I was the Empress which made me the boss of her!
ANYWAY. It is nigh. My daughter loves Princesses GODDAMNIT! It started so innocently. Back in the fall it was “wermaids” that she liked. I’m pretty sure she was thinking Backyardigans mermaids. When I told people that, they bought her Ariel stuff. And it grew, like a fungus from there. “Mommy, you have yellow hair like Cinderella, and I have brown hair like Belle, and Daddy has black hair like Jasmine” Her bed is completely jacked up to the moon with Ariel. It’s so Ariel it’s A-R-I-E-L!!!. Today she is wearing a shirt that says “Daddy’s Little Princess” (a gift) and last night at Target, she picked this out:
Am I the only one who thinks of this when I see these princesses? No, I know I’m not.
I hate this Princess crap. Let’s hope it’s a phase she outgrows. Her favorite movie is still Cars, so there’s hope yet.
23 responses so far ↓
Kevin // January 3, 2008 at 10:48 am |
Thank goodness, I’m not the only one that hates the Princess stuff.
Funny, I was just about to write a post about the same thing going on in our house. It is dress up central around here, with Doodlebug getting two trunks of silly, frilly wardrobe stuff as holiday gifts.
Hey, to give you a positive, at least Ducky doesn’t have a little brother walking around in plastic hooker shoes, geesh.
She Likes Purple // January 3, 2008 at 11:30 am |
I’m with you, I fear if I have a girl she’ll be such a girl and oh lord what will I do then.
Sam // January 3, 2008 at 11:32 am |
M, it’s like we’re the same person. I have been on a rampage about princesses since the beginning. My problem with them (well, one of them) is that I feel the world conspires to indoctrinate little girls to like princesses. Not that I’m ungrateful for the attention, but why do all clothes, movies, toys, coloring books, accessories, DIAPERS, etc. have to have princesses on them? And corporate princesses at that, which forces us to buy OTHER stuff?
Like you, I am uncomfortable (in the way that people suffering from poison ivy is uncomfortable) with the message that princesses impart. I actually talk a class four times at UCSD on the history of fairy tales, and princesses are not role models, with their “lack of agency” as my students used to say.
Anyway, I feel the princess brigade closing in around us with each passing day. I was hoping to keep her innocent and protected and as much of a tomboy as the day I met her, but I can’t control the world. Sigh.
Candy // January 3, 2008 at 12:03 pm |
It’s so hard to get away from that. And I do believe part of it is that we are born with such preferences. I think they’ve done studies to show that haven’t “they?”
typelittlea // January 3, 2008 at 12:06 pm |
I think to *some* extent we might be born with some characteristics.
When my daughter plays with her toy cars, she doesn’t smash them and make them race. She nutures them. There is a “mommy” Mater and a “baby” Mater.
She once diapered a firetruck, to show that “he the baby”.
Michelle // January 3, 2008 at 12:16 pm |
I hate the whole princesses thing…not so much because I think it teaches little girls to be pretty and helpless but because I hate having that stuff shoved down my throat – it is every where!
tracey // January 3, 2008 at 12:41 pm |
Sorry, but I have no problems with princesses. I also had no problem supporting my son’s infatuation with freakin Thomas the Tank Engine (which Corinne also loves) and Evan’s desire to have everything dinosaur under the sun. They outgrow infatuations. As long as you give other options and discuss why she’s lucky to be a free child in a modern world, then pretending to be a princess will be just that – pretend.
magpie // January 3, 2008 at 1:17 pm |
I hate that stuff too. And it’s insidious – the kid comes home from daycare with her little head full of Princess This and Prince That – so she’s immersed even though we own virtually none of the branded stuff. I await the day that it dissipates.
a happier girl // January 3, 2008 at 2:17 pm |
My husband helped the princess brigade surround our 4 year old the other day by letting her watch Cinderella. She’s all princesses all the time now. That’s after she asked Santa for a princess dress and Santa purposely didn’t buy a Disney one.
Tessie // January 3, 2008 at 2:57 pm |
They seriously are SO TRANNY-LOOKING, aren’t they? There has got to be some artist at Disney just cackling over his or her little joke.
moo // January 3, 2008 at 3:37 pm |
Man, this makes me so glad to have a BOY.
And who knew I’d ever say that?!
I’m reminded of the book series that came out several years ago … maybe 10? … of the reworked fairy tales, where the princesses chuck the men and get jobs to pay the bills. I wish I could remember what the names of those books were … Ducky could get a new bedtime story! =)
Cheri // January 3, 2008 at 3:41 pm |
We have three daughters, and I swore no Barbies. Then, much to my dismay, all three developed temporary infatuations with a Disney princess or two. Thank Gawd it passes. Ducky will move on. My youngest loves break dancing, skateboarding, and science. There’s hope for humankind.
Amanda // January 3, 2008 at 3:53 pm |
I wish I could live in a fairy tale….
If anything all that shit creates unrealistic ideals.
I never knew Sleeping Beauty was born with a penis. This creates such an internal struggle….
chou2 // January 3, 2008 at 4:54 pm |
oh I HATE the princess crap.
Seriously LOATHE it.
And will do everything in my power to keep it away from my Sproutie. But because of this, of course, she will probably frickin’ love it. (sigh)
Banana // January 3, 2008 at 5:51 pm |
I hate the princess crap too. And the hurry-up-and-look-like-adults in high heels, make-up and midriff baring tiny tee-shirts. Dress up is fun. Imagination is fun. Pretending to be a princess is fun, but so is dressing up like a doctor and an astronaut and a pirate. Even if you’re a girl.
Kelly and Skylie // January 3, 2008 at 7:53 pm |
The whole princess thing has started. We have a Cinderella fan.I am sooooo sick of fucking Cinderella.
Unnaturally Blonde // January 3, 2008 at 8:31 pm |
I have a problem with Bratz Dolls. They are like little hookers. I would rather buy 10 Barbie dolls for my nieces instead. When you typed A-R-I-E-L, I swear I could hear the movie in my head, when they are singing at the beginning…I’m sure in a few months she will turn on to something else, hopefully.
typelittlea // January 3, 2008 at 8:32 pm |
Oh, I know! I really hope she never likes Slutz dolls. I don’t want to make it a *thing* by saying no, but damn, I DO NOT want those in my house.
Alleen // January 3, 2008 at 9:07 pm |
hee hee. It’s always what you hate the most that they become attached to, isn’t it??
I have to say, Gabriella so far is such a girly-girl with her purses and shoes and it really just happened before my eyes.
Chantelle // January 3, 2008 at 9:45 pm |
Wow. I didn’t used to think of that. But I will now. Too funny.
loren // January 3, 2008 at 11:10 pm |
I cringe a little every time I hear that word that shall not be named. ick.
Mary // January 4, 2008 at 11:56 am |
You’re doomed, sister. My oldest boy went through a tight and dress phase. I was in heaven! But that girl in the middle saw fluff and glitter and was lost to me. Now, she came full circle and is currently in quite the tom boy phase at nine. It was my deepest hope that my youngest child, Merrick, would be gay so that I would have someone to shop and gossip with in my frail years. Alas, Merrick appears fully loaded with all things Stereotypically Male. Guess what he wanted Santa to bring? A shot gun.
Biology matters — and this from a woman with a PhD minor in Feminist Studies who used to argue that it was all a load of Culture.
Beth // January 5, 2008 at 8:13 pm |
I still say all those idiot princesses should go to college or learn a trade and go out and get jobs. Give them something to do between brushing their hair and hiking their boobs up to their chins.