Please kill me

Is there anything more boring than hearing about how sick someone is? And yet I can’t stop writing about it. The Highlander and I both have the flu, along with other complications. I have to use an asthma inhaler!!! It is, as my daughter would say, Super Yuck!!! The Highlander practically forced me to take it. It is so gross. He’s got a sinus and ear infection, and is taking super duty antibiotics.

My mom is picking up Ducky tomorrow morning so that we can get some rest.

Folks, we’re going to need a new buzzword

Remember when I enumerated all the reasons I was a total fucking douchebag? Well, I think I may be recovering. (Don’t worry, I’m still wearing the Crocs, like everywhere that’s not work. Right Holly??)

No, I cleaned my bathroom yesterday. With CHEMICALS. Specifically, a whole Costco sized bottle of Clorox. My house now smells like the Great Wolf Lodge.

It’s in my pores, and I can smell it on my hands. It’s sickening. I want to go back to my hippy vinegar and lemon juice and baking soda. But it just doesn’t clean as well. Due to shitty plumbing and leaky pipes in our apartment, there is a mold problem. All of us have sinus issues and I think the mold has a lot to do with it. It’s in the walls and there is nothing I can do about it except scrub the walls periodically, and just nothing works like bleach. Is this a good time to mention how bad I want to leave this stupid place?

So, tell me, what it the “anti-Green”? Red? Have I gone red?

Candy Beans!

For people who don’t believe in Spendingtime’s Day, we sure buy each other a lot of presents on Feb 13th and Feb 15th. One of mine was the entire 3 seasons of Arrested Development.

WHAT TOOK ME SO LONG??????????? This show is so fucking funny. I just can’t understand why it’s off the air. Or maybe I can. Assholes like me who didn’t watch it until it was already cancelled.

There is so much to love about this show, but I think George Michael and GOB really steal the show. And just in case you doubt my squee-ish fangirl-ly devotion, Mr BananaGrabber is my computer wallpaper.

And now I really want a frozen banana.

SNOW DAY!!!!!!!!!!!

From the balcony , originally uploaded by Type (little) a.

A view from my balcony. I’m “stuck” in the house today because Ducky’s school is canceled, or she puts it, “It’s a Mommy and Ducky day because my school is LOCKED! I couldn’t be happier. AND, I’m about to go make some fudge.

Today, life is pretty good.

Ahhhhhh

I just got back from a 90 minute massage. I’m feeling VERY good right now. Except I’m in a little sore in the back-al area. Why do they find a BONE and then grind their KNUCKLES on it for 20 minutes? I’m sure it’ll be great tomorrow.

I’ve already made my next appointment. I sent The Highlander here yesterday as a surprise on his day off, and the little sneak came home with a 3 month pre-paid membership for me. He always has to one-up (or 3 up!) me. Hmm, I can work with this. I think I’ll buy him a Hummer tommorrow. Think that’ll get me a Land Rover?

UPDATE:

I am SORE today. All over my back. Next time I go there, I need to tell the woman to chill. After I wrote this post, The Highlander and I were talking, and I thought of a few things I forgot to add:

1. She massaged my face RIGHT AFTER she did my feet. Who does that?? Now, I didn’t *think* my feet were all that sweaty, but I definitely smelled some kind of sweat. Let’s hope it was her hands.
2. I was really happy that she didn’t try to make conversation. I cannot enjoy a massage if I have to make chit chat the whole time. Which is a big reason I stopped seeing my last person, because we became friends and would chat too much during. As I said to The Highlander, “I’m chatty enough in my life, even I need a break from my own voice sometimes!” When he agreed, I asked him if he wanted to go to massage therapy school just to hear me shut up.

OK, Darling, maybe I get it….

Here’s something you didn’t know about me:

I whip out my debit card for EVERYTHING. Drive thrus, lunch, Dunkin Donuts, the convenience store, $3.74 in Petco, EVERYTHING.

Here’s something you didn’t know about The Highlander:

This little “quirk” of mine drives him APESHIT bonkers. Partially because he’s the bill payer (I KNOW! I’m the accountant! Weird, huh? Think I can get him to do our taxes, too??) but mostly because of stories like this:

$2243 Burger King Bill 

Call the Wah-mbulance

I have to work today!!! WAH!!! The Highlander and Ducky are both off. It was genuinely bizarre to leave her at home today. Don’t you feel sorry for me? I know you don’t. Hey, at least I’m blogging instead of working. That’s something, right? So, since I plan to be on the internets ALL DAY LONG, You’re going to have to amuse me. How are you fuckers lovely readers whom I love spending your day off?

Bubbling Up to the Surface

So here I am. With not much to say. I did manage to be productive at work this week, but the personal things that needed me, not so much. Oh well. I guess next time I take a hiatus, I need to break up with Google Reader, too.

We took Ducky to a “Valentine’s Social” at her school last night, and man, there were a lot of bodies jammed into a classroom! Ducky was T-H-R-I-L-L-E-D that her Daddy was there, and I’m really glad that The Highlander got to talk to her teachers a little bit. I feel like I know them so well, it’s nice for him to chat with them, too. And the kids were a little confused that there were teachers AND parents there. It was like “Who should we listen to? OK! No One!”

We’re going to CT today to celebrate my grandmother’s birthday. As for the rest of the weekend, nothing too exciting.

Hope you enjoy your weekend.

The trite “Hiatus” post

I feel like the lamest lame who ever lamed for actually writing this post. Like anyone cares that I won’t be posting for a while. And most of you have feed readers anyway.

BUT

I have a lot of too fucking many some things that require my attention this week. So I don’t plan on posting again until next week. Oh, who am I kidding? I’ll probably miss it so much  that I’ll be back this afternoon.

Adios, Adieu, Auf Wiedersehen, Adjö, Farväl, Goodbye…. until we meet again

Low

Here’s some fair and balanced reporting for those of you who read my last post about how considerate my daughter is:

I took Ducky to a birthday party today, and she had a meltdown EXTRORDINAIRE. I had to carry her to the car with no shoes and no coat because she refused to put them on. I really needed this like I needed a hole in my head. She’s been doing much better with the tantrums lately, which I guess is what makes them so jarring to me now. My tantrum ignoring skills are rusty.

I’m exhausted right now. Can’t coherent sentences.