I hate hate hate my gym. It’s not just that I hate to exercise, (not strictly true, I just hate any exercise that can be had in a gym), but I hate the stupid assholes who go to my gym. And I hate the “clubby” music. MUST we hear this much techno? My GOD.
But the piece de resistance, it that the fucking personal trainer shit is getting wonky again. Maybe you remember, and good for you if you can’t, my wonderful history with these assholes who are great at taking my money, but not so great at showing up for appointments. They are also very cliquish with their appointment scheduling, as in only the people who no one wants leave appts available to schedule online.
I’m also not crazy about a bunch of the trainers. There’s the agressive guy that thinks everyone needs to be pushed HARD, who leaves me sore for a week, there’s the bimbo who talks on her cell, and the douchebag who thinks he’s a “nutritionalist” [sic]. This guy actually told me that I couldn’t eat chicken because of the estrogen. But turkey is fine. OK, first of all, I am a pre-menopausal woman. Don’t I have estrogen?? And don’t female turkeys have estrogen too? I don’t know about you, but I am not examining the junk on my Boar’s Head turkey. How could I know the gender of my sandwich?
Anyway, I found a guy who seemed cool. And his name is GEORGE MICHAEL. Come on, how awesome is that? And it was all fine until he double booked me on Friday, and then tried to lie that he’d booked me for 7, when it really was 6:30. And he wasn’t even apologetic, he was defensive and snotty which REALLY pissed me off.
GRR! Right now I have 10 accumulated sessions, with 2 more being charged on 5/21.
I give up, I’m going to McDonald’s for lunch today, and I’ve resolved to stay fat. Fuck this noise, man.
13 responses so far ↓
Tessie // May 12, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Oh my GOD, THIS is why I love health kick posts so much. When I SAY I want people to post about their health kicks, THIS is what I am secretly hoping for.
Nutritionalist! Examining the junk on your Boar’s Head turkey! So awesome.
P.S.-the “health” industry is chock-FULL of self-absorbed, vain idiots who were too dumb to make it in the medical field. I should know.
Jess // May 12, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Um, with this kind of service? You can totally demand a refund and spend it on a better gym. Because SHEESH.
Michelle // May 12, 2008 at 12:26 pm
I despise dealing with the personal trainer people at all gyms I have ever joined. They are either so bubbly and airheaded that I want to punch them in the face or so testosterone filled and push-it-to-the-limit that I want to kick them in the balls. Aren’t there any non-cheerleaders and non-steroid users? I know - over generalization but I am just a random mom who doesn’t want her parts to jiggle too much. If I ever find a non-intimidating trainer, I might fall in love. Until then? I’ll hide in my little corner hoping to be left alone.
Come sit over here on the couch next to my expanding ass…I’ll share my ice cream. It is no sugar added and lower fat!
Kelly // May 12, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Hand over the ice cream sister! Trainers intimidate me ….I just don’t like ‘em NO NO I DON’T. I had fuck’in McDonald’s last night and it was soooooo good! Its been way too long. Anyway I guess I’m gonna stay fat too.
Sam // May 12, 2008 at 2:49 pm
I had a trainer once, and in addition to being an uninformed twit, he used to say, “I have to be careful around you–I don’t want to swear or anything; you’re so proper.”
I was like, “Dude, you don’t know the first thing about me.”
Anyway, I have one word for you: Nia!
HabeshaChild // May 12, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Damn - can’t believe George Michael totally blew it like that. I swear, if people would simply apologize when they fuck up, I’m willing to forgive almost anything. But for God’s sake, don’t LIE about it - yeesh.
I have been craving french fries for about a week. You post may have been the last straw - may have to bust a move to the drive-through when Elsa wakes up.
Cheri // May 13, 2008 at 4:32 am
Gawd, I’ve been lucky. My trainer is good and hawt and gay, so I can work out effectively, feel up his biceps, and not have to leave my husband for him.
J.Hi // May 13, 2008 at 8:35 am
I said the same thing yesterday, I swear. But mine was because I am tired of forcing myself to choke down “healthy food” which does not taste as good. If I have to eat another f@#king salad I might lose it.
Kristie // May 13, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Trainers are stupid. Unless they don’t talk and they are hot. Ha!
Melissa // May 13, 2008 at 1:56 pm
i just ate two slim jims and a bag of jellybeans
Rebecca // May 13, 2008 at 8:36 pm
I just GORGED (sp? I dunno, but it kinda looks like the name George, which is ironic lol) myself on Vietnamese food. I feel like a fucking TICK. Anyway, I’m with you sister. Vietnamese food. Yum.
Unfortunately, when I start LOOKING like a tick, I feel like shit.
Life is SO UNFAIR!!
I need a nap now.
Shamelessly Sassy // May 17, 2008 at 11:34 pm
hmm. I need a trainer named George Michael. For serious. Nice blog!
Kevin // May 22, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Life is short lady. Here’s a little tip from the fat man.
You can work your ass off, loose a lot of weight and still get hit by a bus or something.
Get some shake with those fries!
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