Bye!

I’m off to scenic Upstate NY in a few minutes to begin the matron-of-honoring. I couldn’t go without saying a quick bye-bye to my blogland peeps though.

Follow me on Twitter, I’ll try to tweet all the awesome songs I hear on Sirius along the way.

(or if you have my number, hit me up on smelly celly.)

Better Late than Never

I just this weekend finished up the last of The Highlander’s valentines.

Behold:

The Gang’s all here

The tamest one

HAHAHAHA

I don’t think any man would mind getting this one. Even if it is a backhanded compliment…

And Finally…our fave. It was supposed to say “I can’t stand your bullshit” but I ran out of room, and just about cried at the thought of cutting out all my stitches and re-doing it.

The Highlander displays this proudly on his desk. Poor bastard. I bet he can’t stand my ass, either.

OMG, making decisions is like, SO HARD.

Yesterday, I was in Bed Bath & Beyond. I used to shop there on the regular, partially because I had to walk past it on my way to the subway, and mostly because it’s HAWESOME. Since I’ve moved to NJ, I’ve been avoiding it, and I remember why.

I LOVE ALL THE SHIT THEY SELL THERE.

I showed restraint and still spent $172.31. (Aside: Do you think I used even ONE of the 4000 20% off coupons I have floating around my house? NO, of course not. I usually give them to my mother, because, like I said, I don’t shop there anymore. She’s always shocked that I’m not using them myself. I guess my friends and family still think it’s five years ago when I knew every corner of the damn store. My mom and her friend use them, and therefore, I keep getting more. BB&B thinks I’m a great customer, apparently.)

Anyway, there was an open box Keurig on clearance for $50 (regularly $200, 75% off!!) and I was sorely tempted. I really want one of these, mainly because I am the only coffee drinker in the house, and it’s such a waste to brew coffee, I usually don’t even bother. I have a birthday coming up, and have officially put it on the “gift idea” list. I was all psyched about the Keurig, because you can use your own grounds, too, and the K-cups are really nice and self contained; as in brew hot chocolate and green tea (not that I drink that vile brew, but you get the idea) back to back with no cross contamination. So what is up your butt then, Michele?

…well. There’s no Starbucks in the K-Cups. That’s only available in T-disks, which is what the Tassimo uses. There are a few things I don’t like about the Tassimo, but I want my Starbucks, man.

I hate posing questions to the internet (it feels like comment-begging), BUT, this is CRUCIAL, (in my self-involved little life, anyway).

Does anyone have any kind of single cup coffee dealie setup thingy? Or specifically either one of there?

HALP.

…

All’s I’ve got is time, got no meaning just a rhyme

O hai. I has blog. I seem to have forgotten. Actually I haven’t forgotten, I’ve just forgotten how to find anything interesting to write about. AT ALL.

So anyway, in no particular order, my week, in the the ever-popular punk-rock bullet points for lazy bloggers like myself who like to abuse commas in their run-on sentences, but at least I’m not abusing ellipsises……..

• I went to the goddamned gym ™ again, and the goddamned trainer ™ COULDN’T EVEN LOOK ME IN THE EYES. You are in the wrong profession dude.
• We went to Holly’s and I threatened to kidnap her son (twice)
• Ducky had her 4 year checkup and 2 shots. She did not even say “ouch”. She asked “If I get 2 shots do I get 2 sprites?”
• Ducky-Duck and Gia competed for who could give Holly and me fucking heart attacks first with their dare-deviling (that’s a word. or it should be. whatever. shutup)
• On Thursday night, I let her sleep with me. Early Friday morning she barfed all over us. We figured it was from her immunizations.
• By Friday night she was better, and I picked up the goddamned bridesmaid’s dress of doom ™
• It fits! Praise the Baby Jebus!
• Saturday, we played with the Rainbow Rake. It was pretty cool. Ducky drew a rainbow in front of everybody’s door, because “every people like rainbows”
• Why yes, I have been writing about presents she got for her birthday 6 goddamn weeks ago already, oh my hell. I space out her presents. I say it’s for her, but it’s me who gets overwhelmed playing with all these cool toys at once.
• Around 4 am Sunday morning, The Highlander and I realized that it was probably NOT Ducky’s immunizations that make her sick. We were WASTED all day Sunday. Like so bad we didn’t go anywhere without our buckets.
• Our friend came over and took Ducky out for a couple of hours on Sunday afternoon. Does it make me a bad mother that I didn’t ask or care where they went?
• I went into work for 2 hours today because 2nd quarter sales tax is due today, and I wouldn’t have been so behind if I hadn’t called out on Friday for Ducky.
• I feel like I drove in circles ALL DAY, like the melting polar ice caps are ALL MY FAULT.
• First, I drove the 11 miles R/T to my office/Ducky’s daycare, then I drove home 2 hours later. Then at 5, I drove 11 miles to pick her up, then 6 miles past my house to pick up the laundry, then doubled back PAST my house again, to go get McDonald’s for Ducky. I just could not face cooking for her. Thank God for pizza day tomorrow.
• I painted Ducky’s nails tonight, all 20 of ‘em. Fire engine red. One because she wanted red, and two because I so rarely do my own nails anymore that every other color in my once impressive collection of nail polish ( i still have all 7 pastel Hard Candy colors from 1996!!) is all separated and gross.

At that, I’ll leave you with a picture I stole from Holly. This is what Ducky thinks of barfing for 10 hours straight.

Through Ducky’s Eyes

Ducky got a Vtech Kidizoom Camera for her birthday last year. We finally cracked it out on Saturday. Here’s some of the best ones:

More on my Flickr

Does that screaming come from me?

My daughter, my only child, my baby, went on a fucking FIELD TRIP yesterday. Her daycare has a “summer camp” program, and this is the first year she’s been old enough to go. I just looked over some baby pictures and the self indulgent video montage ™ that I made for her birthday last year. And then I cried, right at my desk, just like the professional that I am.

The funny thing is? I didn’t take her babyhood for granted, and yet time marches on. To those of you who already know this, roll your eyes at me all you want, but I JUST GOT THE MEMO, OK??? Did anyone ever watch that show Out of this World? Of course you do! Remember how Evie could freeze time by pressing her index fingers together, cuz her dad was an alien? I always wanted that power, back then, mostly so I could finish my homework. I’d love to live about 3 days with Ducky and The Highlander for every one.

DOOM?

I have to tell you all something. The Highlander and I are a “mixed” marriage. Only in regards to preferred flavor of chips. One of us likes Old skool Nacho cheese and the other one is clearly wrong. I know shocking, right? We will forever be a 2 bag of chips family.

A few random facts

Just to hold you over the LONG holiday weekend. You know you’re going to miss me.

Gayelle Holly tagged me for a meme that she made up.

5 Things I can’t live without.

(Yes, things. That is the point of the meme. So save your emails about what a materialistic wench I am, m’kay????)

1. Sirius Satellite Radio. Bet you didn’t know I drove an Audi. (that’s because I don’t!)

2. My Crackberry. The Highlander scored this for me FOR FREE. Don’t ask. (because it’s not an exciting answer)

3. Cascade Dishwashing Pillows. No more fart sound like with liquid cascade!!!

4. Purity Made Simple and Hope in a Jar by Philosophy

5. Flip Flops

OK, so, um, tagging,

Um, OK, let me get back to you on that one.

Happy 4th!!!!!!!!

Fashion Show, Fashion Show, Fashion Show at Lunch…

Except it’s not lunch. It’s 2 am. Whatever. Here is my daughter modeling ALL FIVE of her “bay-bing” suits.

Here’s Tuesday Morning’s suit. Along with the part of Mommy’s bagel she ganked. I had the suit for a while, but I actually had to WAKE UP EARLY AND GO TO WAL-MART right when it opened because I forgot all about the water shoes. And the school doesn’t allow Crocs. Thanks for making my life easier, SCHOOL!!

Wednesday’s Bay-bing suit. It turns out there was no water play today, because they had a moon bounce. She wore the suit under her clothes ALL DAY. I went against my “no bikini” policy, and bought her this so she could actually go to the bathroom without getting nekkid. This is also her new favorite face to make.

And here’s the rest:

Itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini. Actually, this one is my least favorite.

Another one piece. I really like it, it’s just no good for school. They don’t swim until 11.

Possibly my favorite one, the suit and the picture

OK, OK, It’s not like it’s the first time she’s ever been in a bikini