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Entries from August 2008

I don’t want to be controversial or anything, but Elmo kind of sucks.

August 31, 2008 · 7 Comments

So we’re back from Sesame Place! Holly, Gia, Nino, Ducky and I all went to scenic Langhorne, PA Wed-Fri. We felt a wee bit silly to find out it was only 50 minutes away, (i thought it was an hour and a half, but I realize I’m thinking of the commericals that say it’s 90 minutes from NYC) but it was fun to be away from home. Ducky and Gia loved jumping on the beds, too. We will be back, now that we know how close it is, and that we are now the owners of hot-shit Big Bird Passports, which include free parking (and sexy lanyards). So if you’re looking for us this fall through next year, that’s where we’ll be. And since nobody reads the boring talky-speak, here are the pictures!

Gourmet Crayons at Friday's

Gia and Nino enjoying their crayons at Friday’s

4 going on 18

Ducky, acting like the teenager she is, engrossed in Ni Hao, Kai Lan on Mommy’s iPod.

Waiting for the gates to open

Waiting patiently for the gates to open. Nice Lanyard, Holly.

45 in the morning!

This was the scene at 8:45 am. The park opens at 10 am, but they let you in for the character breakfast at 9:15. Sadly the the hot-shit passport holders line doesn’t open until 10 am.

Cookie

Cookies for Breakfast!! Just kidding. Perhaps if there had been, the child would have eaten. Usually breakfast is the one meal I can get in her. She said, “I’m too busy to eat”

The Count!

Ah! Ah! Ah!

Gia was not into it.

Gia was not into this big furry purple dude AT ALL.

Nino is a little suspicious

Nino was a little braver with Ernie, but still no dice.

Ernie!

Ducky was willing to sit with “that Orange Guy”. She said, he’s got jeans on Mommy!

01am!

The watering can was a bit cold. Ducky only wandered the edges, and Gia wanted nothing to do with it WHATSO.

Gia in the Teeny Tiny Tidal Wave

Plotting her escape

They both loved the Teeny Tiny Tidal Wave, The Count’s Fount, and Little Bird’s Bird Bath. Ducky was especially excited to go on Little Bird’s Rapids all by herself. I took the round orange thing and it went really fast!!

Later Ducky and I went on the Lazy River, and after that Ernie’s Waterworks. Holly and I had pretty much had it with the water stuff by then, so before lunch we did a little shopping in Hooper’s Emporium.

Whoa!

She actually said “Whoa!” There was a lot of merchandise. Holly has some hilarious pictures of us in the store that I really hope she posts. Anyway.

Elmo Cupcake

Elmo Cupcake!

Gia just found out how much lunch cost

Gia just found out how much lunch cost.
Nino was not amused.

I don’t think this apple is organic!!

Mommy and Ducky

Waiting for Elmo

After Lunch we decided to do the Elmo’s World show. We found out that our passports got us preferred seating to every show BUT Elmo’s. Damn you Elmo!

Telly and Baby Bear

It really was just like the the segment on Sesame Street. At first I thought that was a rip off, but really, kids don’t like change. It was perfect.

Elmo, Rockstar

Elmo? Rockstar?

Dorothy the Goldfish

Elmo loves his goldfish….

Ernie's Bed Bounce

Ernie’s Bed Bounce. Ducky and Gia went on this, but Ducky just left her in the dust. Gia hung out by the entrance.

At Grover's World Twirl

I thought this was cool. All the Sesame Streets around the world.

Loving the teacups

Ducky loved the teacups. All five of us went on the next day, and we used our ride again coupons. Ducky, Gia and I went in one cup and Nino and Holly in the other. Before we left on Friday, Ducky and I went on the roller coaster THREE TIMES. It’s all she talks about! I have no pictures from Friday, for I am lame.

OK, I might have ONE more.

Nino is a bible beater. I doubt this is what the Gideons had in mind...

Nino is a Bible Beater. I don’t think this is what the Gideons had in mind….

Categories: Ducky-Duck · Friends · Good Times · Motherhood

He’s Dead to me, D-E-D.

August 26, 2008 · 12 Comments

Want to know why? You’d kill him too if you had to hear this little ditty 7000 times an hour. Ducky went apeshit bonkers for this when she woke up this morning.

All right, he did redeem himself with this card, even though it, and he, by extension suggested I join the circus.

*the front says “we know some things you’re not getting for your birthday”

Since I’m feeling generous on my birthday, you get to live one more year honey! But only if you never bring another singing balloon in this house. You are on notice!! (love you babe!)

Categories: Life · Motherhood · The Highlander

That’s my daughter in the water, everything she knows I taught her

August 19, 2008 · 15 Comments

I popped in on Ducky’s swim class. It’s only been going on for EIGHT WEEKS, and today was the last class, way to push a deadline, MOM.

Shutup, I was there. (And it was in a greenhouse, must be nice in winter, was FUCKING hot as HELL today) And here’s the pics to prove it.

swimducky7edit

Free swim. She was understandably suspicious. LOL

swimduckyedit

I think she was yelling at her friends here. :-)

swimducky2edit

Waiting her turn like a big girl

swimducky3edit

Not sure if she likes this or not. What she wants to do is embed her hands in this poor guys neck.

swimducky4edit

Getting better…

swimducky5edit

I’m kicking Mommy!

Categories: Ducky-Duck

Bite me, FAILWHALE.

August 14, 2008 · 5 Comments

Oh hot damn, do I hate this new client I got. He’s pushy, demanding, and HE DOESN’T LISTEN when I am trying to answer his ignorant questions. And on top of it, he’s trying to find out about my other clients, his competitors, through me. ARGH!

Want to know the worst part?

HE’S LOCAL.

So yes, he can darken our doorstep at any time. My second most hated client at least has the decency to be 50 miles away.

And that’s pretty much all I have to say about anything lately. I found myself getting all uptight about not having posted in a while, and I actually said the word “failure” in my head? WTF? Can you think of a stupider thing to worry about? So I had a good laugh. At my own expense, which is the very best kind. Suck it, FAILWHALE.

Categories: Certified Public Asshole (CPA) · Life · Whines and Complaints

Counting the Days

August 10, 2008 · 5 Comments

I sort of impulsively decided to ask for the last week of August off.  I’d already booked August 29th, because Ducky’s preschool always has a teacher in-service day that day. Which is fine, because I get a 4 day weekend out of it, but it sucked because my birthday is the previous tuesday (8/26) and really awkward to take off tuesday and friday. SO! After I decided that Ducky and I aren’t going to Orlando in October (sorry Alleen) I just threw caution to the wind and asked for the whole week off. Man, I tell you September 2 is going to SUCK.

The first part will be a stay-cation, and yes, I’m a spoiled brat and I’ll be taking Ducky to school, so I can clean/grocery shop (on Monday) and do absolutely nothing (on Tuesday). After that, there is a secret little trip that Ducky and I are taking. Or ARE we? You’ll just have to wait until we get back to find out….

Categories: Life

The pictures you’ve been waiting for, with breathless anticipation

August 7, 2008 · 15 Comments

Gawd I'm sexy. You want to do me, dontcha?

Kind of says it all, huh? I have never had anything close to a poker face. (-You: “NO SHIT?”*) Also, this picture brings to mind that old expression of putting lipstick on a pig.

where's waldo?

World’s tiniest wedding cake. Cost: $28, Serves: None

DSC00769

Ducky was not impressed. (Actually, she had a great time dancing and running around. I think this was taken during the ceremony and she was upset that she couldn’t stand up front with mommy)

bubbles!!!!!!!!!!

A girl and her daddy.

Yes, I KNOW. We look alike

A woman and her mom. YES, we look alike. I KNOW! I also know that I have an arm’s length self portrait handicap. I can’t do it captain.

* TM Tessie

Categories: Life

Oh hot damn, this is my jam

August 5, 2008 · 9 Comments

I got tagged by my biotch for a meme, and also an award, I think? Like the super awesome hot mama blogger or some shit? Or maybe I’m making that up? Anyway, there’s a graphic for it, of which I am FAR TOO lazy to pull down and post. So instead I’m taking some liberties. Big whoop wanna fight about it?

Okay so here is how this thing works:1st I have to answer a little questionnaire thingy which is pretty much all about ME! Then I have to choose 7 bloggers who I feel are the super awesome hot mama blogger or some shit (see list below) and I give them the award. They will post their own answers to the questionnaire on their own blog and they will choose 7 more recipients. And so it goes! Here is the questionnaire (I’m only doing this because I hope to be Cameo’s Backup LLP someday. A girl can hope. ;-) )

A. Attached or single? Married
B. Best friend? Pookie
C. Cake or pie? Cake! Who the hell likes pie?
D. Day of choice? Friday
E. Essential item? Some kind of ipod, a book, and my blackberry. Must have ALL at all times.
F. Favorite color? Purple
G. Gummy bears or worms? Worms!
H. Hometown? Although I’ve lived a few places, NYC will always always ALWAYS have my heart and be my home
I. Indulgence? A Barbacoa Burrito from Chipotle or a Massage
J. January or July? July. I love summer. Also it’s not tax season.
K. Kids? 1 awesome daughter
L. Life isn’t complete without? Air conditioning. And music. (The family is a total no-shitter, right?)
M. Marriage date? January 10, 2004
N. Number of brothers & sisters? 1 brother, 1 sister
O. Oranges or apples? Oranges
P. Phobias? My family dying
Q. Quotes? Man, you really drank the Kool-Aid
R. Reasons to smile? Good orgasms
S. Season of choice? Summer
T. Tag seven peeps! (see below)
U. Unknown fact about me? I never miss the Westminster Kennel Club Dog show on TV
V. Vegetable? Red Bell Peppers
W. Worst habits? Nail biting, hair twirling, and my fucking filthy trucker mouth
X. X-ray or ultrasound? I don’t understand the question? I have had both and right now I choose neither?
Y. Your favorite food? Stuffed Peppers
Z. Zodiac sign? Virgo

I’m tagging:
1. Sam
2. Cheri
3. Tracey
4. Kelly
5. Debbie
6. Porter
7. Rebecca, assuming you don’t have both hands up a coochie.

If any of you guys have already been tagged…well that just means you are double super awesome hot mama blogger or some shit

Categories: Blogging

Boring Maintenance Post

August 4, 2008 · 4 Comments

I’m removing my blogroll widget. I’m going to try something new very soon. So don’t get yer panties in a bunch, it’s nothing personal, all the links will be gone.

Categories: Blogging