Updated 8/10/07:
My big nose and I welcome you! My big nose wants you to know that is usually just above average in size, not Cyrano de Bergerac, as it appears in this picture. It also wants you to know that it has begged me, and i mean begged me to post a different, more flattering picture. And I always refuse, mostly because these three paragraphs are probably the funniest things I will write all year. Thinking up new material is just too much work. And I’m still a little upset with my nose because it refuses to NOT smell my co-worker’s overbearing perfume. My nose could ignore it if it wanted, it really could. But she is a stubborn bitch, and so am I. So the picture stays.
The five head is not insecure enough to care one way or another about pictures. Smug Bitch.
Updated 5/19/07
Like ZOMG! I’m smiling! Is that allowed? Aren’t I supposed to be making a mean gangsta face? Or an “attitude” shot ala MySpace? Fuck it. This is me. I smile. Deal with it suckas!! You can also deal with the (unintentionally) tri-colored hair. Also, I’m NOT NAKED in this picture. Even though no one, including my husband believes me.
I’ve made some half-assed attempts at blogging for a couple years now. I had a silly MySpace blog, and since June 2006, I’ve had one on Blogger. I have finally lost my patience with Blogger, so I thought I’d give WordPress a spin. I hope it works out. I hear Movable Type is a real bitch to install.
So, about me. My name is Michele. I live “Down by the River” in New Jersey. If you really really need to know exactly where I live in NJ, then, you’re S.O.L., I guess?
This blog is called Type a. As in I’m not a classic Type A (for our purposes here, “Big” A) personality. At least not anymore. I don’t iron my pillowcases and underwear. I am no longer OCD about cleaning or straightening up. I have been known to arrange my money by ASCENDING serial number. (Gah! That makes it sound like I have buckets of it and I’m compulisvely arranging it! We’re talking 7 or 8 singles here!) I’m still relatively ambitious, though my horizons have changed somewhat since becoming a wife and mother. So that alone means I’m no free spirit artistic type. (Type “B”) No amount of fast food wrappers on the floor of my car will change that. So therefore I’m Type little (or lowercase) a.
I married a super sexy computer geek, who we’ll call J/Daddy The Highlander, in January 2004 and we have a daughter, Ducky-Duck, who was born in June 2004. (Hey you! Yes YOU! The one doing the “math” Stop doing math!) For those of you who are interested in this sort of thing, I’ll be 31 in August. August 26th to be exact, if you are REALLY interested.
Until June of 2006, I was a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM) sucking off the teat of my husband’s fat paycheck, buying junk at Target, and making sure my daughter kept her diaper on. (Tangentally, her diaper is now OFF.) But alas, the time for me to rejoin the workforce has come. I work part time full time at a small CPA firm. I think our little family is doing a pretty good job adjusting. Especially because my husband got a new job with a fatter raise, and cause my paycheck may not be FAT, it’s definitely thinking about calling Jenny Craig.
I like cross stitching, especially things with naughty words, farting around on the internet, playing with my daughter, playing with my husband (oh get your mind out of the gutter!), reading, mexican food, alcohol, going out to movies, pausing live TV, wireless ANYTHING, hot dogs, talking on the phone but NEVER EVER listening to my voice mail, ponies, telling jokes and generally being a smartass, taunting my friends and family and I don’t know what else. Something. I’ll get back to you.
This is where I should post the things I don’t like. Hmm. It’s going to be a long list, and you and I just met, Google-Bot (’cause who the hell else is reading this anyway?) so maybe I’ll try to accentuate the positive. Just kidding. You thought I’d gone all Pollyanna on you! No, I’m sure there will be whole entries devoted to the things that chap my ass, but right now I’m entirely too lazy. Damn, thinking of the things I like was hard enough.
OK. I’ll give you one: I don’t like seafood. There I said it. If you want to leave, I understand.
So this concludes my “present”, next entry will be my “past” and I guess the whole damn blog is the “future”? Unless you are reading this in 2091 or something and if that’s the case, that’s fucked up, yo.
