I had such good intentions, folks, believe me.

I won’t keep you waiting, but it would be a lot more awesome if it were actually, yanno, ready.

Anyway, I’m starting a new blog (which I can’t link to yet, as I haven’t launched it yet). It will chronicle my weight loss/fitness efforts, like scary honest. I need some accountability, dudes. I don’t DARE give a timeline this time. I should have waited, but I just couldn’t handle any more pregnancy guesses.

When it’s launched, I’ll announce it here. If you don’t have a feed reader, just comment or email me, and I will be glad to include you in the “Go Look! Go Look!” email.

Kissy Kisses.

Hi.

Check back around the first week of December for a big announcement.

UPDATE: I’m NOT pregnant.

I’m done here guys. I’ve just been prolonging the inevitable since my last “break” back in April. I have nothing more to say. I’ve been keeping this up as sort of a quid pro quo, I enjoy reading all of your blogs, and I wanted to return the favor. And then, I lob around that it’s a “journal” for Ducky. But let’s get serious, this blog is always been all about me, even when I do write about her.

The naked truth is that this is not fun for me anymore. I’m grateful for all the friendships and connections that blogging has given me, but nevertheless, It’s not me anymore.

I’m out.

Much love,

Michele

I’m not deleting the site right away, and I’m looking into having this printed and bound, through blurb or blogprinting.

Hey! Did you guys know that I have a scanner? Neither did I! OK, yes I did, but I was too lazy to use it right, and I think I’m using the software they used to create PONG, (what I’m trying to say is it’s ancient, and kind of a joke), BUT! I can scan pictures! On the regular! Without doing ANY cardio whatsoever as a warm up. Without further ado, GRAINY SCANNED PROOFS OF MAH GIRL!!

I think this one is my favorite. Happy weekend-ing, folks!

Ed: Since a bunch of people asked and I don’t know how to make links all purty in email, her outfit is Gymboree. Sweater, Skirt, and Headband.

According to her teacher, she’s doing fine. When I called and spoke to her, she said she was “happy”, which is her stock answer for everything, but hey, you take what you can get.

OK, I was planning on gracing you all with an update tonight, but we just spent 3 hours in the ER. Little Ducky tried to climb on her step stool, on top of her bookshelf, so she could “see something”. She had a nasty nasty bruise on her back, and we took her in just to be sure. She’s sleeping peacefully in her own bed now, and I’m about to head into mine.

More tomorrow.

Let’s just pretend that last week never happened, OK? All kinds of bullshit I don’t want to talk about, so you know, whatever. I hate being cryptic, so I just didn’t post. Even though I’m kind of doing it now, whatever.

So Last Friday night, The Highlander and I drove Ducky up to my mother’s house in CT, so we could go to an, ahem, “adult” convention. It was all right, not great, but not as sucky as I thought it would be when I first walked in.  And my former (brief) experience (from hell) in marketing had me mentally tallying up the costs and relative benefits of the booths, and I was thinking of the poor schmuck who had to pack up that booth. Because that schmuck was usually me. I thought the hot pink carpeting was cool but couldn’t help but think just how many phone calls it took to get THAT right. LOL

Here are the 3 tamest pictures. I already have quite the reputation for being “off color” so please not that I’m showing restraint and trying HARD not to offend. (Even though there was no nudity there whatsoever).

Here I am with Ron Jeremy. He was the reason I decided to go, after all. He was nice enough, so I hesitate to say this, but he is even less attractive in person if you can believe it. I did refrain from telling him that I’ve never seen any of his porn films, just his season of the Surreal Life. I didn’t think that would go over too big at a PORN, excuse me adult erotica convention. Plus, he was wearing Crocs. That surprised me for some reason.

(ed- I blacked out A LOT of this picture to make it safe for work. Just so you know.)

This chick was pretty cool, and this was a pretty fun booth. But forget all that. Can you appreciate how hard it must have been to get that latex dress on? I can barely manage my sports bra without major contortions. She must have put it on in the shower or something.

Am I the only one who thinks it’s funny that they serve “tossed salad” at a PORN convention? The Highlander and I aren’t into that. We ate HOT DOGS instead. AHAHAHAHAHA. Oh well, at least I amuse myself.

(There was lots more to talk about, but I think I’ll let the cheese stand alone on this one. More posts coming soon)

Coming from someone who thought the whole RickRoll thing was the funniest thing EVAR (because I am 12) I present to you, the BarackRoll

As important as it was to write about the September 11th attacks, for the sake of my mental health, I need to move on to other topics. I’m not saying that you can’t still comment if you want to, I just need that post out of the top spot, no matter how worthy the topic. I think I have a touch of (undiagnosed) PTSD about 9/11, and I just can’t allow my mind to linger on it too long. Because my mind, she goes to some DARK places.

I’m only telling you this so you don’t think me flippant by changing gears immediately to fluffy nonsense, which you are about to read below.

OR, do find me flippant, shallow and immature. I really don’t give a fuck.

[/UNNECESSARY EXPLANATION]

ANY-way………..

Here I go again with the punk rock bullet points.

• I have a benign tumor. On my head. Do you know how disappointed I was that I couldn’t call The Highlander as I was walking out of the appointement and say “It’s NOT a toom-ah!!!” in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s voice. DO YOU??
• I finally committed to a one cup coffee maker. It really was THAT important of a decision. I went with the Keurig B-60 and I drank approximately 7 cups of coffee the first day. I love it, and I love the K-cups. No mess, and a mind boggling array of choices. So far I like the Tully’s French Roast and the Newman’s Extra Bold.
• Target has HILARIOUS political Halloween cards. As a general rule I don’t send Halloween cards, because, WTF? That’s stupid, man. But I might just have to send some. I can’t describe them. Go look at them. BETTER yet! Be one of the first 5 commenters and I will mail you one of my choosing. (Send me your address through email, not the comment, duh)
• I’m wearing a sweater today! So cozy. Evidently, I’m looking pretty HAWT, or I’m emitting some serious pheromones, or I don’t know WHAT, but like 6 different men were all flirty flirty today. And not one of them was my boss, THANK THE BABY JESUS.
• Wow, that sounded a little stuck-up didn’t it? Fuck it. As a friend recently pointed out, isn’t having a personal blog by definition narcisistic? So, fine, I’ll own it.
• We have a busy busy weekend coming up. It all started because there was an event The Highlander wanted to go to on Saturday night, and I said “Hey sounds like fun! Let’s just get a babysitter!” Because my life is currently booked a month in advance, like I’m the gynecologist with the warm hands or something, I feel the need to be spontaneous or some such nonsense.
• Except I forgot that I have a memorial service to go to on Saturday morning, which means that Ducky needs to be driven to my mom’s tonight.
• I also forgot that she has her “best fwend’s” birthday party to go to on Sunday at noon. So guess when Mommy has to leave on Sunday morning to make sure we get back in time? 6 am. ON A MOTHERFUCKING SUNDAY. I do not have enough K-cups.
• Can I just say something else? Let it be known that I do like the moms involved (it’s a joint party for 2 girls) and that’s saying a lot because I don’t like many of the daycare moms. BUT! BUT! It’s a “pirates and princesses” costume party. (Guess which one Ducky picked. GUESS!!) Is this supposed to be fun or something? I maintain that the children have fun REGARDLESS, and the costumes are something the adult wants for a photo op. I always roll my eyes when I see “costume” party on the invite. Even at halloween. Costumes are dumb and a huge pain in my ass. YES, I am aware how miserable that makes me sound, and get off my lawn, you damn kids.

Today, on the 7th anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, I’m going to do something a little different. Instead of rehashing my experience, I take the challenge set forth on this site, and honor three people who lost their lives in the World Trade Center on 9/11/01. I didn’t know them in a traditional sense, but these three people mean something to me. They have always humanized the attacks and allowed me to remember that innocent people died. And that it very easily could have been me. So please, if you pray remember these three people in your prayers today.

The first victim I want to honor today is Louis Minervino. He was a 54 year old father of two from Middletown, NJ, and he worked as an accountant for Marsh in the WTC. He is the closest thing to “knowing” a victim. I was a business contact of his daughter’s. I worked at a graphic design firm at the time, and Marsh McLennan was one of our clients. (Both Minervinos worked for Marsh, Louis in the WTC and Laina in midtown). Our firm printed the programs and tickets to the company’s private memorial service held at St. Patrick’s catherdral in late September, 2001 . I didn’t know that Laina had lost her father until I heard her eulogy. From what I’ve read over the years he was a loving father who devoted his life to his family. He lead a quiet life, and died too young. Rest in peace, Louis.

I always assume it is common knowledge, but I will explain. Immediately following the attacks, people made and distributed missing posters, in the futile hope that their loved ones had survived and were wandering around, confused and needing help. They were everywhere, on every mailbox and lamppost. There was a huge room divider put up in Grand Central Terminal that was covered with these missing posters from floor to ceiling. It was overwhelming and heartbreaking to look at them all. For some reason, I zeroed in on two in particular. They were both young single blonde women in their twenties. How’s that for nacissism, huh? Actually, I don’t care WHY I made the connection to them, I’m just glad I did. I want their families to know that someone remembers them BY NAME, and knows what they gave up.

The second person I would like to remember is Jeanmarie Wallendorf.

I first saw her missing posters around my Brooklyn neighborhood. She was only 23 years old, and working so hard at Keefe Bruyette & Woods. She was doing everything right, and her life was ended too soon. I was 24 at the time of the attacks, and was in a similar position to her in that I was trying to climb the career ladder. I realized the other day that she would have been 30 this year. Thinking back to all that I’ve experienced and how much I’ve grown in the 7 years between 23 and 30, I cried for all that she lost. For all that was taken from her, and it made me all the more grateful for every minute of my average, ordinary boring little life. Rest in peace, Jeanmarie.

And finally, Giovanna “Genni” Gambale. She was a 27 year old VP of Marketing. She worked on the 105th floor of the North Tower. I saw her missing poster in Manhattan in mid-September. I felt the connection to her, first because she was my sister’s age, and because she worked for E-Speed, a division of Cantor Fitzgerald, a company that suffered heavy losses. I believe something like 80% of their entire staff was killed that day. Back in 2000, when I was looking for a new job, I had been contacted by someone at Cantor Fitzgerald for an entry level drudge work type job. I decided not to apply, because I thought it might be a pain to walk down 100+ flights of stairs if there were a fire. Also, I was told that the elevators sometimes took 20 minutes, and I am not a morning person and I was afraid that I’d always be late to work. Really who thinks of shit like this? But if I had answered that email, and had gotten the job, I wouldn’t be here typing this entry. I suppose in Genni’s case in particular (although we in no way would have been equals, job-wise) I feel a sort of survivor’s guilt.  Rest in peace Genni.

NEVER FORGET.

In happier times, here I am on the observation deck. I was 4, and loved every minute of it. I talked about it for weeks, and I never forgot how awesome it was to be up there. I thought of this visit when I stood on that roof on 10 West 19th Street, watching Tower 1 fall.  I kept running to the edge, which as a mother, I know how nerve wracking that can be. Did I mention that my mother is afraid of heights? And the brouchure I’m holding says “The closest some of us will ever get to heaven”. Eerie, no?